Helping executives to appreciate conflict in business is not easy. It is a difficult journey. Most of us avoid conflict situations or look to deflect attention onto others. I help executives unravel and understand their emotional reaction to a conflict situation. I coach them to see how to resolve such disruption. It starts by allowing them the space and time to tell their story. Their themes and issues create the basis for change, but they also create points of resistance. Being closed to assessing a conflict situation makes coaching difficult, if not impossible. It requires openness. They need to commit to the process and explore what can be learnt from their choice of emotional reaction. It is always so rewarding when an executive takes up the challenge to commit to real change. Things then begin to move through the line of questioning:
What work areas or people do you avoid?
What relationships are not working and why?
Why has frustration and anger become your chosen response?
What does the conflict situation say about you?
At the end of the coaching period, my clients have gained a new perspective and insight into their choices under stress. They are enlightened and feeling more peace. As a result, they are happier to deal with challenges and better able to take bold decisions. They are able to embrace what their frustration and anger is saying about them. This is usually very difficult and uncomfortable. Constructive conversations on negative emotions, like frustration and anger, is a positive step forward. It enables someone to change their life. It takes lots of courage and high self-regard. It also highlights our fear of being negatively judged by others. Executives can generate great learning by appreciating the benefits of a conflict situation. Conflict resolution can create more meaningful outcomes, greater learning and freedom.